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Top 30 Funny Valentine's Day Card Messages

Funny Valentine's Day Couple

If you're looking for a funny Valentine's Day card message to add to a Valentine card then you've come to the right place. We've compiled a list of the top 30 funny Valentine's Day card messages to help you find the perfect message for your significant other.

Valentine's wishes to make someone laugh

  • Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not really good at poetry, but I still love you!

  • Congratulations! You've been promoted to the position of my favorite person. It's unpaid, but the benefits are sweet!

  • Be mine? If not, can we just eat chocolate and forget this ever happened?

  • Are you a campfire? Because you're hot and I want s'more.

  • I’d never play hide and seek with you because someone like you is impossible to find.

  • If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put ‘U’ and ‘I’ together and then make everyone else learn a new alphabet.

  • I love you almost as much as I love coffee. Almost.

  • You had me at "Let's order pizza."

  • You're the Ctrl to my Z – always fixing my mistakes.

  • If you were a Transformer, you'd be Optimus FINE.

  • You're the reason I look down at my phone and smile. And then walk into a pole.

  • Love is not having to hold your farts in anymore.

  • If you were a vegetable, you'd be a cute-cumber!

  • If we were on a sinking ship, I'd share my door with you. Move over Rose, there's space for two!

  • I'd let you steal the covers on a cold night... sometimes.

  • I'm just a squirrel looking for my nut, and you're as nutty as they come.

  • You must be made of copper and tellurium, because you're Cu-Te!

  • Thanks for being my emergency contact.

  • I don't need Google, my Valentine has everything I'm searching for.

  • I love you more than there are stars in the sky... but not more than coffee. Let's be real.

  • Let's both be naughty this Valentine’s Day and save Santa the trip.

  • I love you more than zombies love brains. That's undying love right there.

  • Roses are red, my love is true, this card is funny – I’m better at gifts, okay?

  • Sometimes I wonder how you put up with me, then I remember: Oh, I put up with you. So we're even!

  • Roses are red, my lips are blue, sugar is sweet and so are you! But the roses wilted, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl’s empty, just like your head.

  • I promise to always be by your side. Or under you. Or on top.

  • I love you more than Kanye loves Kanye.

  • If you were a fruit, you’d be a fineapple.

  • You're like my favorite bra: supportive, comfortable, and hard to find.

  • Our love is like a fart. If we have to force it, it’s probably crap.

Looking for a cheeky card to go with your humorous message? Check out our collection of rude Valentine's Day cards at Happy Tree Cards.

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